Out of Nowhere (Middle of Somewhere, #2) (2024)

***4.5 Stars***
Raw passion,
Angst,
Long hair.....yes I was in M/M heaven

I can't say enough how much I enjoyed this one.It's just the kind of book I love.
Colin,oh Colin....yes he was a total prick in the beginning but the more I read and got into his mind,the more I loved him.
He's such a flawed,lonely character just going through the motions of his life.He's known from a young age he was gay but can't even admit it to himself never mind anyone else.
I haven't read book one but got the gist of the way he behaved towards his younger brother Daniel when he came out.Colin is so resentful of the fact that Daniel had the courage to live his life how he wants to....deep down that's what Colin wants.

Rafe....well what can I say other than I simply adored him.He was so patient with Colin.His life has not been easy,getting in with the wrong people when he was young but he managed to turn his life around and make something of himself.

When these two get together the sex is raw and passionate.I loved how their relationship developed.Colin is so tortured....he wants Rafe but is terrified of coming out,especially to his family.
Plenty of angst(which I love) as both men battle with their feelings and what they want from each other

Highly recommended......

~4.25~

Colin is a 36-year-old self-loathing, closeted gay man, still living to please his father, and so damn unhappy, he takes his anger out on everyone else, especially Daniel, his younger brother and one of the MCs from book 1.

Colin is also the first-person narrator of the story, and, wow, is that exhausting. Colin hates his life. He hates Daniel for having what he can’t have. He even resents Rafe; Rafe, who saves Colin from a severe beating in the first chapter; Rafe, who is AMAZING.

Much like Rex in book 1, Rafe is patient and steady. He has a past, but he’s turned his life around and now runs a program for LGBQT youth.

Book 1 is angsty, but it has nothing on this book. Colin is so immature, so stunted emotionally, he acts and reacts like a teenager, not a grown-ass man. He rages at Rafe and gets drunk constantly, even though he knows how much this hurts Rafe.

I had a hard time mustering sympathy for Colin and got frustrated with his inability to have a normal conversation. He’s not honest with himself, much less with others, and pushes Rafe away constantly. Colin is a bully, plain and simple. Even his cat doesn't like him.

This book overlaps with book 1, and the story is definitely relationship driven. I liked the side plot regarding the teenagers at Rafe’s youth center. I especially loved DeShawn and Mikal, as well as Colin’s friend Xavier (I can see why X’s wife disliked Colin; I mean, who wouldn’t?).

I didn’t think much of Colin’s father. Daniel was right when he called their father a coward who just gave up. I found the dynamics between the four brothers fascinating. This is one f*cked-up, damaged family, but families sometimes are. It's not easy, but it's real.

Parish brings a lot of emotional intensity to her stories, which is heightened by the first-person, present-tense POV. Everything seems gripping and immediate. I usually dislike this narrative style, but it worked here.

The sex is raw and desperate at times, but Rafe is so tender, so GOOD, it was hard not to root for him and Colin. Rafe loves Colin, and I wanted happiness for Rafe.

The ending is a HFN. Colin is barely coming out of his self-imposed prison, so we see some of his personal growth but know he has a long way to go. Rafe loses his footing for a while and hasn’t fully regained it by the time the book ends.

I do wish Parish would add more sweetness to her books. The constant fighting between the MCs made me seriously anxious. Even so, I liked this book and would recommend it for fans of book 1. I was very much invested in the story.

P.S. Out of Nowhere should NOT be read as a standalone.

First, some advice for those reading Out of Nowhere before release day: Re-read In the Middle of Somewhere now, if you can. This book runs parallel to the first book and events overlap. It confused me at first, so I want to make sure you guys aren't confused. Spoiler below if for those that have already read In the Middle of Somewhere.

Remember the scene in the shed during the funeral in book 1? We see this from Colin's POV in Out of Nowhere, along with many scenes with Daniel and Rex.

Colin Mulligan's future looks bleak at best. He is ashamed of his hom*osexuality and uses his shame to punish himself physically when he has random sexual encounters with men. He drinks too much, works too much and his entire social life revolves around drinking beer and watching TV with his father and brothers. But one day, during a brutal beating by a hom*ophobic asshole, brightness and warmth enter his life in the form of a knight in shining armor. Rafe Guerrera.

Rafe's life is on the upswing as regretful events of his past quietly fade into the background. He has a fulfilling job working with LGBT youth and a supportive family but no time for a relationship. After meeting Colin at his lowest, he decides his attraction to the man is worth the time and effort it will take to make things right in Colin's world.

Holy angst folks! This one is jam-packed with it. Colin is an absolute mess, as we saw in book 1, but those that think he has no redeeming qualities need to read this book! We only saw Colin through Danny's eyes in book 1, but we see what makes him really tick here and there is a lot of good in this miserable man.

And Rafe. RAFE! I have many book boyfriends. Rex from In the Middle of Somewhere. Darian from Glitterland. Shane from Rattlesnake. Matt from Point of No Return. And now I have Rafe. Sweet, flawed, sinfully sexy, loving, dirty-talking Rafe. He is a fabulous character, one of the best I have ever read.

This is an absolute read-this-the-f*ck-now book. I loved everything about it. I loved it as much as I loved the first book and cannot WAIT to read it again.

HIGHLY, HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!

This review is also posted at Gay Book Reviews

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***4.25 Stars***

"You were as much in prison as anyone I knew there, Colin. Only you created it for yourself. Your father paced out the cell and your brothers fit the bars and you turned the key in the lock and buried it somewhere only you know. And you stared at Daniel through the bars and cursed him for being able to walk out the door. But he's not the one who did something wrong. All he did was save himself. And you can too. But you have to find the key and unlock the door."

First off, let me address one issue....can this book be read as a standalone? Technically, yes. There's not much plot wise from the previous book that would make you lost here. BUT, should you read it as a standalone? No. Why? Because having read the first book makes certain scenes and moments so much more deeper and richer. It helps you understand the complexity that is the Mulligan family, the dynamic of these brothers, the role their father plays and the impact their mother's death had on the family bond.

Now, let's address this book shall we?

Colin....oh, Colin, Colin, Colin. He broke my heart. I really wanted to hate him, I did. Especially after the first book when I saw him through Daniel's eyes. But here....there was no way that I could. He was filled with so much self-loathing that he hated himself enough for the both of us. He was choking on it.

My heart bled seeing the desperation that Colin felt for his father's affection and approval, a man who gave up on his family and buried himself in his own depression after the loss of his wife. My heart sobbed at Colin's unfair treatment of Daniel, his openly gay younger brother. He was vile and evil to his brother because he didn't know any other way to deal with the rage and jealousy coursing through his body at the fact that Daniel could just be himself.

Colin buried any semblance of his true self underneath booze, jealousy, hate, fear, anger and depression.

And then, along comes Rafe. A man who is dealing with his own past and demons. A man who was wrapped up in gang life, prison and drugs but is trying to make a better life for himself...a man who the world won't let forget about where he came from.

Oh Rafe...what a patient man! He was so gentle and caring with Colin. He pushed when needed, stepped back when called for and walked side by side with Colin when he needed the extra strength. Little by little Rafe helped Colin come out of his self imposed prison. He showed him what a trusting and supportive relationship could be like. He opened his eyes to the unhealthy and self-destructive life he was living.

"...there's a huge part of you that's a secret to all the people you care about. And that means you can't think about what the future will be like. You're suspended in the present. Getting through each day without anyone finding out about you. Running hard enough that you feel okay. Drinking enough that you forget about the world long enough to fall asleep and wake up to a new day. Only it's the same thing then, too."

My life in his words makes me want to puke. Because he's right: that's how I feel most of the time. But...not when I'm with him.

Rafe and Colin's relationship was intense, passionate, caring, supportive and filled with soul healing love.

Yes, the scales are tipped with Rafe doing most of the work throughout the book, but when it came time for Colin to make some difficult decisions, his love for Rafe outweighed the fear. Life hit him in the face with the force of a speeding train and he had to face the truth that he needed to make a decision about what kind of a life he wanted to have and what kind of a man he wanted to be. He takes a cold, hard look at his life, his brothers, the children of the youth group that Rafe introduced him to and his parents relationship...and he has to decide if he wants to live, or exist.

He doesn't end up perfect, but it's clear he's on the right path....he ends up as a man wanting to be better, a man willing to try, a man working towards a happier future....a man who happily has another man at his side.

There should be a word for living a life so different from anything you ever thought was possible that you don't even recognize yourself in it.

---------------------------------------------
Thoughts before reading:

A blurb and release date for book 2!!!!

The wait isn't that long!!!! February 29th!!

And the MC's are Colin and Rafael....HOLY sh*t the angst is going to be amazing and delicious!!!

I seriously can't control the excitement! This is one of my most anticipated books!!

Ok....I need to go and calm my tit* somewhere!!

3.5 stars11/2020 re-read via audiobook
I felt for Colin a bit more than the first time I read this. Being inside his head is really exhausting, but I think the narrator did a really good job with his character.
I love how amazing Rafe is with him, though Daniel is still my favourite.

Re-read 07/2023: I still love it, especially the dialogues that are really layered. I love the subtlety in this book which is hard to find in releases these days. No matter how many times I read it I can't help being hooked. Love my Colin.
Re-read 2022: still love it!!!
Re-re-re-re-re-read 2021: I don't log all my re-reads of this one because it is THE book that gets me out of slumps so I go to it often. I just love it so much!
Re-read 2021: I still LOVE this book, it remains my favorite!

I've read this book several times and really love the complexity of the characters and Colin's relationship to Daniel. The way internalized hom*ophobia is depicted is very realistic and refreshing because people who have internalized it are not really aware of it (that's the point) so they can't really talk about it. That is why Colin is frustrating to some people, he is very oblivious because he is so deep in denial. The relationship with Rafe is slow and great, they do complement each other nicely and communicate well even though Colin can't really talk much it's fine (yes I want to hug my poor Colin). The dialogues are great, the "confrontation" that was hinted at in book one is amazing (I've read it so many times) because the conversation is meandering, tentative and in the end a lot remains unsaid (even though most has been aired out) but that is what makes it so real and painful for the characters involved.
This book has to be read after In the Middle of Somewhere, otherwise you would not get the full experience (I guess you could follow the plot but both stories are concurrent). I highly recommend both

Warning: (What I'm sure is an) Unpopular opinion ahead.

Reasons why I didn't particularly like this book:

- 65 "Um"s and a heck of a lot of "I..I..but.."s.
- a plethora of sex scenes in which the author didn't seem to know how to properly describe what was going on, to the point where I had to skip some.
- a super unlikeable main protagonist.
- a super unlikeable main protagonist that was supposed to be 36 but came off as 18.
- a super unlikeable main protagonist that didn't seem to ever finish a sentence, or to explain his thoughts to his SO, which meant I had no idea what his SO ever saw in him at the beginning or at the end.
- overuse of the Magical Penis trope
- quasi BDSM as a psychological help tool.
- unnecessary and unsafe breath play thrown in out of nowhere. None of the quasi BDSM felt organic to the story.
- usage of the word "doll" as a term of endearment for a grown ass man, and the grown ass man being ok with it.
- the author using other characters in the book to let us know that this book was somewhat of a "Supernatural" AU.

- I didn't feel like I was reading about two guys. This felt strongly like m/f to me.

Reasons why I liked this book:

- I could see the potential at the beginning for it to turn out pretty well. However, I feel like this author was once again underserved by her editors.["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>

I just love it when we meet a 'villain' character in one book, to then find exactly the same guy an unlikely 'hero' in the following book.

Colin was a horrible, hom*ophobic sh** in book 1 of the series and you couldn't help detesting him.
As I found out in this book, I could have hardly hated Colin more than he does himself.

Saying that he is the most seriously f***ed up character I've come across in a while is probably the understatement of the year. His self-contempt is of epic proportions, calling himself all names under the sun and berating himself in the most painful way.

Dominated by his cold, hom*ophobic father, all he's ever done is try to please his old man, and be the 'good son'. That includes repressing his sexuality and what he really wants out of life. At 36 that's a hell of lot of years. (Actually that was the thing that really got to me, for how long Colin was living that hell)

Drowning in guilt and shame for having 'these feelings for men' (he can't even THINK the word gay without breaking into sweat), his self contempt is extreme and results in self harming and intense panic and anxiety attacks. What's the worst, he is incapable of expressing anything emotional verbally .

The agony and misery of the man was virtually dripping off the page and it is incredibly well done and brilliantly written. The author has done a stellar job at showing exactly what worm-hole sized turmoil Colin is going through.

And then of course there's Rafe. The 'knight in shining armour' who rescues Colin one night. Another gentle giant (just like Rex a bit). A guy who can be strong and fierce, but so tender when it's needed. Rafe is pretty inspirational, actually. Particularly when you find out about his own background and the baggage he carries around.

I love the way he very gradually changes Colin's perspective and feelings about being gay. I really take my hat off to his sensitivity and understanding, and my heart broke for him when he faces his own personal nightmare.

And let me just make this clear. These guys are incredible together. Really hot, really sensual. Their love scenes are underlined with so many feels I was near asking for some oxygen for the fear of getting overwhelmed. Absolutely mind-blowing!

So, was this a good book? Nope. This was a brilliant book, with so much depth and character development, people who want to write should read it for studying purposes. Yeap. THAT GOOD!

And I also loved how things went down between Colin and his brother Daniel (the MC from book 1)!

Highly recommended!

Before started this book, I read a lot of the reviews. So I knew I had to keep an open mind going in, because there were a lot of remarks about the hero Colin being an asshole. Apparently he was a big asshole in book 1 too, but I haven't read that one yet. However..these two books overlap, so I have an idea about what happend in book 1.

Colin is one out of four brothers. He works as a mechanic at his dads garage, along with two of his brothers. His other brother, Daniel (book 1), recently moved to another state, because of a job. Colin is not close with Daniel. He used to be, but after Daniel came out as being gay...their bond broke and Colin has been an asshole towards him ever since.

There are reasons for his asshole ways however. Not that it's an excuse for his behavior, but people usualy have a reason for their behavior. In Colins case...I kinda understood were he was coming from. You see, Colin is also gay. He just never admitted it, not even to himself. He was so dead set on pleasing his ass of a father, that he shoved his way so far in the closet, he could shake Aslans paw

As a result, Colin is a mess. He suffers from anxiety, selfharm and has even been suicidal. I actually liked Colin right from the start. He was struggeling so hard and yes I was upset with him at times, but most of the time, I just felt really sorry for him. I guess not reading book 1 maybe helpt soften my reaction towards him. Daniel was a strong character, he knew how to choose for himself and he knew who he was and what he wanted. Growing up for him was very hard, but I think it was just as hard for Colin, if not harder. Colin was just an outer shell...not really knowing who or how to be, keeping every bit of emotion inside...So yeah, my heart broke for him. Just shows how much parants can screw up their kids.

When Colin gets beat up at a gay bar, this knight in shining armer appears, saving his ass. Rafe was amazing. I loved him from beginning to end. He was exactly what Colin needed. He could see right through the heart of him.

They strike up some sort of friendship and Rafe even gets Colin to work with a YA queer group, teaching them about car mechanics. Slowly their relationship progresses. Ofcourse Colin f*cks up a number of times, but Rafe is quite the patient and understanding guy. When Colins father passes, Rafe is his rock. Especially when Daniel comes into the picture. Colin knows he's treated Daniel like sh*t and he doesn't know how to deal with everything ....

Rafe has a past of his own he's struggeling with and when that past gets shooved in his face, it's Colins time to man up and be there for the man, who has been his rock all this time. The question is, will Colin be able to fight the fight and finally come clean with who he is and what he really wants.

It has come to my understanding that this book was angstier than book 1, which is a more fluffy read. Personally, I like some angst in my books. I like character that are flawed and not perfect. I like seeing them grow and struggle a bit. That's why this book was perfect for me. I think Colin still has a way to go, but he grew a lot in this book, thanks to Rafe. Loved it...5 stars from me.

3,5 stars

As much as I loved the writing, I just couldn't get to like Colin. Like at all!

This is the second book in the Middle of Somewhere series. It can be read as a standalone, but I strongly advise you to read these books in order.
I really loved In the Middle of Somewhere. I fell in love with Roan Parrish's writing. I just couldn't put this book down. I loved Daniel and Rex so much!
In Out of Nowhere we get Colin's story - Daniel's brother - who we already met in In the Middle of Somewhere.

Colin is 36 and he's deep in the closet. Well he acted more like an 18 years old spoiled brat most of the time.
I hated him so much in the first book. So here I couldn't wait to get another side of him, but I was surprised he didn't really have a good side. He acted super hom*ophobic in the past and I wanted so bad to believe he wasn't hurting his own brother out of hate. Well that's where I was wrong. All his self loathing and determination to please his dad made him lose himself on the way. And he realized it was easier to hurt the others. Here's when I gave up trying to find him excuses. I think he really is a mess and he was hurting the others just because he was suffering.

I usually fall hard for broken characters, BUT this time I just couldn't warm up to Colin. I don't like weak characters. Colin is 36! He spent his whole life wanting to fit in and please society and his dad!!
To me, Colin has NO excuse for how he treated Daniel. It seems to me like he was too self absorbed by his hurt and made some pretty wrong choices... He even thought he was doing the right thing for Daniel AND this I can't accept. On another level, he did it for his father and this is even more dumb...

Colin was a mess I really didn't feel sorry for. He made his bed and he should have slept in it. Too bad his choices impacted others too, innocents, like little Daniel.
I agree, Colin didn't have an example to learn from while growing up, but Daniel didn't have one either. But he still came out and found the strength to live his life the way he wanted. And he also forgave Colin so he's definitely a better person.

What I really liked in this book would be: RAFE and all the hot scenes between them. This author can write some pretty great sex scenes. Rafe was such a kind and sweet man with a very sad past. He was extremely patient with Colin and I kept wondering what he saw in him.

I liked Xavier but I compared him with Ginger and unfortunately they are nothing alike. Xavier is Colin's best friend here and it would have been great if he was as funny and sarcastic as Ginger in In the Middle of Somewhere.

I'll rate this book with 3,5 stars because I think the writing was great and the story felt real. Too real and too sad for my taste. I usually enjoy angst in books but here I couldn't warm up on Colin. I resented him too much for how he treated Daniel. I just couldn't get over it no matter how hard I tried.

The epilogue was nice enough but I still wonder what would have happened if his father was still alive and if he didn't make peace with Daniel... I'm wondering if he would have given up on Rafe.

Audio - 5 stars
Story - 4.5 stars ...um..round down because..um...

I am so glad I came back to this book after having it on pause for over a year. This time around, I decided to include the audio, and I have no regrets. This was an awesome angsty, heartfelt read.

Colin…damn. There’s no excuse for the asshole behavior, but I totally get it now.

On a side note, I guess all the "um" and stammering is a family trait??? Not as bad as Daniel, but still a bit much.

4.5 Stars!

Sweet lord this one was hard to read.

I pretty much had that knot in my stomach the whole time. On edge. Anxious. This one really brought out the emotions.

This was told entirely from Colin's POV...who frankly I did not like the majority of the book. He made it so hard to like him. He was such an asshole.

He was so bitter. And mean. To Rafe. To his brothers. It was really hard to read sometimes.

Rafe was awesome and there many times I wondered what he saw in Colin.

But there was also some growth. Not a lot. But some. And ultimately I was rooting for Rafe and Colin. I wanted them to have an HEA.

The kids at the YA were great additions.

While definitely hard to read at times, this was a solid addition to the series and I look forward to the next book. Hopefully it will be a little fluffier. A little less pain and heartache. There's nothing wrong with a little happy!

I. LOVED. THIS.
I am such a sucker for a self destructing f*ckup, and Colin did not disappoint. And the way Rafe was always there to wrap him up in his giant arms? I melted. I swooned. I cried.

I hated Colin in book 1. Obviously. Although Daniel was annoying and exhausting enough that I was wondering about the other side of the story. And Colin? Still an asshole. But I love him.

Pop can collapse and die. Oh sh*t. Already dead. He can die again and again. I hate him.

I don’t know if there are trigger warnings, but if you get triggered easily, maybe don’t read this? I had to pause the book a few times. It was dark and hard to read. But worth it.

I read the first book of this series In the middle of somewhere a long time ago and loved it. But, then I saw a lot of reviews by my GR friends appreciating this book more than the first book and I had to pick it. When I started, I realized it's Colin's story. The bully, hom*ophobic elder brother of the previous book's MC. I got excited because who doesn't like a good redemption story.

My reaction to this book surprised me because it kept changing with every few pages.

Then Rafe introduced Colin to the youth group and I saw Colin interacting with those kids. I felt the first spark.

Things I loved about the book

• The author didn't show that love can make you forget 20 years of shame, internalized hom*ophobia, and pain. I admired that she made Colin fight his own battles. And how Colin keeps diverting again and again in the process.

•I also liked how the author showed the family dimension. I mean you can't resolve years of hurt in one conversation. And, how different siblings have different opinions of the same reality. And, I loved the fights and conversations between the brothers, like that we do not get a clean-cut ending with the family.

•I also admired how Colin's relationship with his father was handled. Relationship with parents is so complicated, you know their weaknesses and hate them for it sometimes. But it's not easy to remove yourself from their expectations even when they are long gone.

•In the start, the relationship was too unbalanced. Raf tries to give everything and Colin keeps pushing him last in his preference list. But, as the story progressed the relationship felt a lot more balanced. We see that Raf too has issues and Colin is ready to be there for him.

•The epilogue is beautiful and realistic even though it's as long as two chapters🤭🤭but I loved it.

Now, as I said at the start, my liking for the book grew gradually. I started liking it by 40% and ended up loving it. I have read this author earlier but have never felt so much respect for her other works. This book is well researched and handles important emotional issues of MCs and side characters in a perfectly realistic way.

"Armor’s not dangerous. That’s for survival. It’s a weapon you have to watch out for. It’s mostly armor, Colin. And when you’re with me, the armor falls away. Who you are without it…it’s beautiful".

TW- hom*ophobia, heavy internalized hom*ophobia, On-page attempt to self-harm, and a lot of talk regarding past self-harm attempts.

Audio review here.

It takes real chutzpah to focus the sequel to a wildly popular story on the biggest antagonist from the first story. It takes a really, really good writer to make that story engaging, believable, and engrossing. I couldn't really believe it at first but Roan Parrish managed to do that for me.

Colin Mulligan is full of self loathing, he self harms to feel something, he drinks too much, and he takes terrible chances to feed that inner monster within that craves the touch of other men. It's only when he meets Rafael Guerrera, and begins to spend time with Rafe, that Colin begins to work through some of his issues.

I thought the writing is well done, the characters are realistic and believable, and...man, I'm sorry, but I hate Colin. I hated him while reading In the Middle of Somewhere and nothing that happens in this installment warmed me up to the character. I kept waiting for a scene or chapter that would somehow make me like him...but it never came.

On the other hand, I absolutely loved Rafael and felt like he was such a wonderful character. I only wish I could have gotten Rafe's POV. I absolutely loved Rafe and Colin's scenes together, and the comfort and passion they shared.

In the end, though, Colin's character is so well done, and the writing is so good, it kept me engaged throughout the whole story. Parrish weaves a complicated story about a man who has hidden his entire life, a man who loathes himself so deeply that he is intrinsically destructive to himself and the relationships around him, but, ultimately, a man who wants to be better and to love and be loved in return.

The only real complaint I have for the story itself was how the epilogue was written as more tell than show. Don't get me wrong, I liked the information I got from it, but it felt a little out of place from the rest of the story.

Bottom line: It's really well written, and I'm definitely looking forward to the next installment in the series.

For those who like a higher angst level and a satisfying hurt/comfort/healing romance you should definitely check this out.

Advanced Review Copy of Out of Nowhere provided by Dreamspinner Press in exchange of an honest review.

This review has been cross-posted at Gay Book Reviews.

Colin Mulligan was first introduced in book 1 “In the Middle of Somewhere” as the verbal caustic tormenter of his younger brother Daniel. Colin relentlessly voiced his contempt of his little brother’s sexuality. At the end of book 1, it was revealed that Colin was a closeted gay man.

This sequel was full of angst as the reader was exposed to Colin’s life, from his perspective and it was rough. Colin was a man living in constant anguish and fear of exposure. After losing his mother, Colin’s yearned for his father’s love and approval so much that it superseded his every need. Colin took to anonymous alley hookups, drinking excessively and self-harming to cope with his daily life of working in an auto shop with his family.

When Rafael Guerrera saved Colin from an alley beat down, they formed a connection. Colin was so broken but Rafe was so patient, loving and supportive that Colin began to slowly confront his fears. The journey was uncomfortable for me because when Colin was nasty and he took cruelty to the next level. I just couldn’t understand why he unloaded all his rage at Daniel but not the other brothers for living their life.

“You were as much in prison as anyone I knew there, Colin. Only you created it for yourself. Your father paced out the cell and your brothers fit the bars and you turned the key in the lock and buried it somewhere only you know. And you stared at Daniel through the bars and cursed him for being able to walk out the door. But he’s not the one who did something wrong. All he did was save himself. And you can too. But you have to find that key and unlock the door.”

Colin’s self-hatred fueled his interaction with everyone else. It made him cantankerous and suicidal. It made me love Rafe that much more. Here is a man who worked hard at his sobriety and made a conscience effort in making a difference in the lives of others. Rafe made Colin more palatable for me. He humanized Colin and softened the rough edges.
My hat off to the author as she did an excellent job conveying the depth of Colin’s despair. As much as I disliked Colin’s actions and his mouth, I couldn’t help but empathize with his pain. Colin hopelessness was so intense and profound that my stomach felt queasy at places. Even if you don’t like someone, it’s hard to see people wallowing in that kind of agony. This audiobook actually exceeded my expectations. The narrator Spencer Goss did an incredible job conveyed all those emotions to the listener. I heard and felt this story in my heart.

3/5

I’m not gonna put everything what I’m thinking about this book because there is so much to say.

There is not a lot of book where I’m struggling to understand the main character, especially when he is portrayed kinda as a villain in the last book. Collin was hard for me to understand, because a lot of his actions were wrong, and even when I knew about what he went through it didn’t justify him to do them.

We read the story from Collin’s point of view. He is a really complex character with a lot of struggles and problems in his life. His love interest, Rafe, is a character I liked very much, he has been through a lot and has overcome his struggles, he is not ashamed of who he is and works to help young people. I wish to meet some like him in my life honestly.

At this point, I think the author has some weird obsession with using "um" and "uh", because there is so much of them, exactly like in the fist book in the series. Seriously, our main characters are 38 and 36, there are ADULTS.

The ending is also not exactly a HEA, but we see that the main characters are starting to heal and trying to make their future better.

I highly recommend reading the first book first as we see the perspective from Daniel's point of view which I think is important here.

Wow! Just Wow!

Nothing I like more than a damaged and screwed up MC who is strong enough to figure himself out or at least try his hardest to do his best, and that is what we get in this book. Collin is one messed up guy. Rafe is strong enough for both of them...until he's not, then it's up to Collin. Will he fail, will he run, will he just say F it and hit the bottle, or will he find himself teetering on the edge of too far and not be able to pull himself back?

You have to read this book so you can experience all that is Collin and all that is his inner turmoil, despair, regret, hate, fear, loathing, and just the need to be loved. All he really needs is someone who is strong enough to break through and love him, shelter him from his inner workings, and show him he can be himself. That someone is Rafe.

Rafe, he sweeps into Collins life like a thief in the night rescuing him from his own self destructive ways-- even if Collin doesn't realize it at first. Rafe, who has enough baggage to fill a 757 jet .. yet makes room to take on Collins baggage too just because - they fit. Rafe, who comes when his scared niece calls him at 2 in the morning when she is somewhere she shouldn't be.. Rafe, who is afraid if he let's Collin see the man he used to be he won't be good enough.

Can these two find their happily ever after when they are beginning from out of nowhere?

5 stars!

*ARC provided by author in exchange for an honest review. Reviewed by Jaime from Alpha Book Club

3.5*

Like most, if not all readers I really disliked Colin in the previous book In the Middle of Somewhere but after reading several reviews I was confident this book would change my opinion of him. Unfortunately it didn’t and that was my problem, I just didn’t like Colin.

Now Rafe was fabulous (like Rex in the previous book) I loved him and yes this book was well written with great secondary characters (the kids) and while I read and appreciated the writing I can honestly say I just never really enjoyed this book and that’s what it all comes down to for me and while I want to give 3* the writing alone deserves more than that so 3.5* it is.

Will I continue on?

I’m going to read the Valentine freebie but despite loving Leo in the first book having read my friends reviews on Where We Left Off I’m not sure I want to read it so I’m taking a break and maybe I’ll read it maybe I won’t.

**4.5 stars**

Although I had some issues with In the Middle of Somewhere, it was an impressive debut novel. But I felt that with this second installment, the author really showed what she can do, and how skilled she is.

Objectively, Colin is an asshole, a bully, a bad, bad man.

But all I saw was fear and misery. Instead of weakness I saw depression and confusion and self-loathing. Daniel managed to break free, but Colin is still under their father's thumb.

One thing that troubles me, though, is that Colin never sought therapy. I mean, multiple suicide attempts, panick attacks and depression are not minor issues. Rafe was good for him, but I still think Colin needed professional help.

I loved the interactions with the kids at the YA center, and Shelby, the kitten, than never liked Colin.

Basically, this is a coming out story, and I loved how Colin managed to do this without losing parts of himself or having a personality transplant.

I'm looking forward to the next book in the series.

4.5 real stars rounded up to 5 really, real stars because still no 1/2 stars here on GR and just because I can.

Sometimes the hardest books to read tell the best stories...

'Out of Nowhere' is the second book in Roan Parrish's 'Middle of Somewhere' series and very possibly not only the best one yet...but the best one...period...end of sentence.

This is Colin's story and Rafe's. But it's more than that. This is about family. Something we all want and we all get but for each of us it's never the same. The word family can mean so many different things to a person and when it works and it's right, it's the best thing ever, but when it doesn't work it can tear you apart leaving nothing but broken pieces in its wake, pieces that may never fit back together no matter how hard you try.

For Colin his family ceased to work when his mother died. Life became an endless cycle of working in the auto shop with his dad and brothers, trying to avoid panic attacks and control his rage. Running helps, lifting weights helps and when those things fail there's drinking. For him admitting he's gay isn't even on his radar let alone an option. Colin lives and breathes for his father's acceptance...something he knows he may never have no matter how hard he tries...but it's his father and do any of us ever really give up trying to have that one thing that we should all come into the world with...the unconditional love and acceptance of our parents? I'm not sure that I truly believe we do. I think if we don't have it we either learn to live with the conditional love and acceptance that we're given or we find a way to live with the fact that it's something we'll never have.

Little by little we are shown how Colin's soul is being shredded and he's losing himself in his efforts to gain his father's approval until Rafe finds him. Rafe sees past Colin's misery and self-destruction and the man that's hiding there calls to him. Rafe's not perfect he's got his own set of problems but he's a fighter and he knows how to wage a war. He's done battle with a past that he wants to leave behind to create a future worth having. Rafe also knows about family because unlike Colin's his understands about loving and supporting each other when the chips are down.

I first encountered Colin towards the end of book 1 'In the Middle of Somewhere' and if you had told me then that this author could make me even like him. I would have laughed so much...seriously ROFLMAO!!! that would have been me and now I have to say I would have been wrong. I definitely like Colin...a lot. I wanted to feed him milk and cookies and give him a teddy bear to hug along with a bit of tough love because it may be the hardest thing in the world to do but sometimes it's what our kids need from us the most.

'In the Middle of Somewhere' showed us a glimpse of the Colin that is but 'Out of Nowhere' showed us the the Colin that was, more of the one that is and wrapped up with the Colin that will be and this is the Colin that I came to adore and think any parent would and should be proud of.

More than anything what I loved about this book was that Ms Parrish gave us such a real person in Colin. There are a lot of book characters that I can think of that I love, whom I really enjoyed reading about but very few felt as real to me as Colin did. He could so easily be my neighbor, my friend's brother, my brother.

'Out of Nowhere' wasn't an easy story to read it was dark and heartbreaking and had such a strong dose of realism to it for me. Sometimes I needed to just put it down and take a break but always I needed to see it through because for all it's darkness and heartbreak at the end of it all was love and hope and promise for Colin and Rafe and the future they were both willing to fight for together.

If you read the first book and you didn't like Colin try this one. I think he'll change your mind about him and if not at least you'll gain some insight about the ending of 'In the Middle of Somewhere'.

Can I just say I'm emotionally exhausted??

Really, in all honesty, Colin is f*cked up, and I mean that in the nicest way possible. He's full of shame and guilt, and he's also so afraid of the truth that he's desperately buried a part of himself so deep as to avoid any confrontation. Thing is, he can't truly hide or deny what is inherently him, and the self loathing takes center stage making him a miserable mess. One day though, his imposed isolation is broken, as enigmatic Rafe saves him from a serious thrashing. From there on out, we witness the slow, torturous, and painful undoing of Colin towards acceptance.

One thing that stands out is Rafe's infinite patience. Parrish really does write some great book boyfriends. The other thing that stands out is probably the frank and brutal honesty that this story doles out in bucketfuls. It is seen in the topical social situations, the absolute terror of the truth, and the exhausting existence of living a lie. Of course, love doesn't necessarily conquer or absolve all, but it sure as hell helps, and that was nicely shown here for both Colin and Rafe.

So in essence, this makes the first book look like a total cake walk in comparison. Absolutely this was angsty as all get out, and for me, I got very little joy out of it and my rating reflects that. All the points go towards the writing here, but the harsh reality was just a bit too much. I need a little fluff, a little whimsy, a little more smex (I'm terrible, I know!) and this failed to give me enough of that. Having said that though, this still will not deter me in any way from reading the next book when it comes out.

Ok, the writing was phenomenal, so there's that.

But, holy sh*t, that was a chore to read. Depressing for every page except, maybe, the epilogue. I don't mind gritty, but my MCs need to have a sense of humor to pull off some levity/banter from time to time. These two did NOT. I am seriously exhausted.

So all that combined with an MC that I didn't like? No, not your average MC that you don't like. One you really downright HATE. Who's cruel, both intentionally, and in the most nonchalant of ways, because it's so ingrained in his personality. Yeah - meet Colin. I'm glad he finally got it, but after his sh*tty personality blessed every damn page of this book, I didn't even care anymore.

Someone pass me some Prozac.

Audio Version--review includes audio sample

I really liked this when I read it, but this audio....man this on audio!

This is not an easy story to read. It’s the story of a man who is so filled with self-hate that he’s tormented not only himself, but those around him. He has little substance and few good qualities. As the story starts Colin is in a place where he works, he drinks and he seeks out violent encounters with strangers. One of these encounters goes really wrong and it brings Colin to the attention of Rafe. Rafe has been through hard times of his own and he can’t stop himself from wanting to help Colin out of the miserable place he is in. The two men forge a friendship and over time it becomes more. Unfortunately Colin has to learn to care about himself before he can adequately care for someone else, and that is a long, painful road for everyone involved.

I was worried when I started this book that the author would try to make Colin a misunderstood, easily forgiven character but she didn’t and I think that is the ultimate strength of this book. As we go on Colin’s journey with him we see things from his point of view and it adds a different take on the things that happened between he and Daniel in book one. In some cases things weren’t as bad as Daniel’s narration led us to believe. In others though, they were. Colin has some very unlikable moments. He’s immature and angry and lashes out at those around him. He has little self insight and he feels little self worth. Colin’s whole world revolves around the love he desperately wants from his father. The love he’s sure is conditional and will be taken away should his father find out he’s gay.

Rafe was an interesting character and uniquely done. It was hard going in to this book to imagine who would want to be in a relationship with Colin. The author did a great job of making Rafe’s character one you could believe would stick around for Colin. The dynamics of the two men seemed very realistic. Rafe himself has some issues and he’s worked hard to overcome them. But those past flaws are the things that help him to have understanding and sympathy for Colin. I loved that while Rafe was endlessly patient with Colin, he didn’t let Colin go too far or become abusive to him. It was a balancing act but he did it well.

There were a host of side characters that greatly added to the story. Rafe works with LGBT teens and they were a delightful group. Watching as they become the catalyst for Colin to change his life was one of my favorite parts of the story. Daniel also plays an important role in the story which was something I never thought we’d see after reading the first book.

As much as I enjoyed this book when I read it, I have to say that hearing it on audio was even better. Sometimes the right narrator for a story enhances it. It makes it even more fantastic. That was the case here. I wasn’t sure about the narrator for the first chapter or so due to the cadence of his voice. After I got used to it I found myself thinking “This IS Colin.” Since the story is told in a first person narration we’re hearing Colin’s words, his thoughts, and I found them more heartbreaking in his voice rather than in my head. Listening to Colin’s voice as it cracks and breaks, as he stutters and hesitates, as he chokes through painful words and feelings and sometimes cries, I found myself totally entranced. I was much more emotional while listening to this than when reading it, and I actually cried in a few places which I didn’t do when I read it. Colin sounded so broken and so wounded you couldn’t help but feel his pain.

I wish Audible let these clips be a bit longer but here is a great example of how well this narration is done. https://www.audible.com/socialshare?i...

So, this audiobook was a hit out of the ballpark for me. I loved everything about it. I loved the story and the issues that were looked at in it. I loved the rich and detailed characterization of both MC’s. I loved that the author didn’t excuse Colin’s bad behavior but instead made me love him despite it. I’m not sure I’ve ever wanted a character to get a happy ending as much as I wanted Colin to. And, I especially loved the extra emotional connection that the narration added to the story.

**this story has heavy issues in it including cutting, suicide attempts, bullying, alcohol abuse and date rape**

"You were as much in prison as anyone I knew there, Colin. Only you created it for yourself. Your father paced out the cell and your brothers fit the bars and you turned the key in the lock and buried it somewhere only you know. And you stared at Daniel through the bars and cursed him for being able to walk out the door. But he’s not the one who did something wrong. All he did was save himself. And you can too. But you have to find that key and unlock the door."

[4.5] utterly broken characters are my bread and butter, and Roan Parrish delivered the King of Trainwrecks Colin on a silver platter, BON APPÉTIT 😌

this was not an easy read by a long shot and i already have a few book friends in mind who would probably be overwhelmed with the desire to dropkick Colin if they pick this up, but i personally savored each and every angsty moment.

i loved how Rafe showed Colin that there's a world outside of the family car repair shop and his father's approval, taking him on an adventure that begins with the kids at the youth center, who were my favorite addition to the story. it was also a pleasant surprise to have Colin schooled on decarceration and his white privilege pointed out.

as much as i'd die for my fluffy HEAs, i can appreciate the realistic ending the author decided to go with since these characters have issues for DAYS. they're taking baby steps though, and that in itself makes me happy.

in terms of niggles, the breath play came out of left field, and knowing that Colin is often hyperaware of his breathing and how deeply related it is to his panic attacks made the whole scene feel out of place for me. i guess there was also a bit of a relationship imbalance but that wasn't a huge turnoff for me because of the complex nature of their connection.

anywho, if you like broken mcs suffering from major self-loathing, consider picking this book up!

*note: make sure to check out the first book beforehand for a more complete experience as a few key events overlap and this provides greater insight from another perspective

Love this book, so impressed with how Colin is written that we see his flaws, he's by no means the perfect guy beneath the bluster, yet we're are drawn in and want him to be happy. The torured anxious feelings are conveyed well. While there's a sense of relief to him by the end he doesn't change character, it's more allowing himself to be, there's still an abrasive edge though it's tempered. Leave the book wanting a peek ahead to see where he Rafeal and co are at, how things pan out with his brothers. A mark of a good book is when the pages stop yet the characters live on, it's not HEA the end all tied up pretty, but joy, life overcoming things and continuing on.

-- --
Liked the first book but this had more to it, the characters were more complex, and less in a bubble leaving us to see more.

Very impressed with how Colin was written to be empathic without changing who he was. Parrish managed to show his worth and have the reader care about him while still seeing his flaws. A difficult task considering his personality. Neither character is perfect both have made bad decisions are work hard to do better.

Really liked how Colin's family was broken open, in the first book it's coloured by Daniel's perspective but here we see it under a different light. And there's no cartoon bad person to blame, their father messed them all up but not through obvious tropes, he too felt real.

There's a number of possibilities for the next in the series and I've no preference to who takes the stage, but do hope to see more of these characters as they untangle who they are.

As with the first book it's first person present tense, which I'm not a fan of, it does takes a bit to adjust too, but it doesn't detract from this being a great story. Well worth a read.

And well:

“Armor,” he goes on. “Armor is not dangerous. That’s for survival. It’s weapons you have to watch out for. And you—“ He strokes my lips with his thumb. “It’s mostly armor, Colin. And when you’re with me, the armor falls away. Who you are without it… it’s beautiful.”

Well that was angsty as f*ck! I mean Colin was the epitome of self-destructiveness—internalized hom*ophobia, out of control rage, drinking, cutting, provoking beatdowns, self-sabotaging behavior. The list goes on and on. He isn’t a likable character at all. It’s not surprising that he has a lot of baggage given his family background, but he is such an asshole that I had a hard time empathizing with him.

What made this romance work for me was Rafe. He did most of the heavy lifting in the story, as he did in their relationship as well. I adored his character. Rafe also had it rough in life, but faced the adversity head on and overcame it. He works hard after getting out of jail to improve himself and continues to fight tooth and nail to stay clean from drugs. He runs an after school program for queer youth. He’s incredibly giving and patient with Colin. Rafe’s all-around strength and supportiveness, and the great kids from the youth center provide enough uplifting moments to balance out the darkness. The hot af sex scenes also don’t hurt!

Absolutely fantastic! I loved hearing this story from Colin's POV and it was so beautifully done, this author's writing style is excellent. I just finished In the Middle of Somewhere a few weeks ago so it was great to be able to continue the story like that. Very interesting and complex characters and a wonderful plot. Put this one on your 'couldn't put it down' shelf ;)

I admit, I was curious as to how Colin, who was so awful to Daniel in In the Middle of Somewhere was going to become a likable character, but Roan Parish accomplished it in Out of Nowhere. Also, the events in Out of Nowhere run concurrent to In the Middle of Somewhere, so if it's been awhile since you read book one, you might want to give it a reread, as some things will make more sense if you recall the timing and context.

We first meet Colin in In the Middle of Somewhere, and Colin is dismissive, at best, and cruel, at worst, to Daniel. He really wasn't a likable person, at all. You can tell he is miserable, but the extent of it doesn't really manifest until later in the book. For so long, Daniel thought Colin was a hom*ophobic asshole who just couldn't stand him. That whole family is so screwed up, though, starting with Pop. It's a wonder that Daniel turned out as well as he did.

The truth, though, is that Colin is a self loathing, super closeted man who does anything and everything to avoid any kind of introspection. Ever. He's thirty-six years old and refuses to be anything except what his father expects, not that his father appreciates the effort. Dear old dad is still a cruel asshole to his kids. When the shame and self loathing start to get too bad, Colin runs until he can't anymore, or lifts weights until his muscles give out and then he generally self-medicates with alcohol. Alcohol is his main coping mechanism. As I started to understand him, I just felt so bad for him. Colin doesn't hate Daniel, as much as he is just plain old jealous that Daniel came out and got out, while Colin languished in his self imposed cage, not even realizing the door was unlocked.

Rafe has complications of his own. Mistakes in his youth, sent him to prison for drug use and fighting. There isn't a day that goes by that Rafe doesn't try to be a perfect human being because, as an ex-con, people are undoubtedly just waiting for him to screw up. He's there for so many people, but who is there for him to lean on? No one, not since his best friend dies. But he's passionate about helping others and he sees something in Colin that he just needs. Rafe was an amazing character. He's strong, protective, caring, and so very human.

Their relationship started out a bit complicated. I mean, Colin couldn't even admit he's gay. He literally could not even say the words. He wanted Rafe and he had trouble processing it, so he had a tendency to shut down. It took them a good while to actually become lovers. They became friends, first. Rafe was a persistent presence and, above all, a stalwart friend. He's exactly what Colin needed. Someone who could actually see the real Colin and like him anyway.

Out of Nowhere is not just about Colin's journey to his truth, but also Rafe's journey to forgiving himself. They're both damaged in their own ways, and even though Rafe was at a different stage in his healing, he wasn't quite there yet, so we see a lot of growth in both of them throughout the book.

I really loved Out of Nowhere and I was actually surprised at how much.

I remembered really hating Colin in the first book, but this book really explained the way Colin felt about himself and also why he treated Daniel so badly. It doesn't justify it, but it does explain it.

I loved this so much that I'm going back and reading the first book again so I can reconnect with Rex and Daniel.

I thought Rafe was awesome and he really helped Colin accept himself without being ashamed of who he was.